“PLEASURE IS A WONDERFUL THING. IT’S SOMETHING WE SHOULD ALL HAVE.”
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS!!!
Let’s be honest, Hollywood has a habit of glamourising most subjects, particularly when it comes to sex. Usually, on screen, the sex is perfect, in no way awkward, and everyone knows exactly what to do to in order to reach an orgasm. It also shows the man giving a couple of thrusts and apparently everyone is satisfied. Believable? C’mon. Realistic? Yeah, right.
Women’s sexuality has often taken a back seat, and most of the time it is the male gaze that is attended to. In recent years there have been more feminist series coming to the forefront that are paying attention to the female gaze and realising that women are sexual beings too: Outlander and Bridgerton for example. Another important aspect that is not as widely portrayed as it should be is consent. Films such as 50 Shades of Grey and 365 Days are propping up the ideal that a dominant man is a sexy one, that a man can take whatever sexual pleasure he wants from the woman, without having to ask for it. But what about a man who asks for consent before doing something? Now THAT is truly sexy. The new film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, has been released among this media dichotomy of sex depictions; it has been hailed as feminist and sex positive.
Emma Thompson is Nancy Stokes, a woman in her sixties who hires a sex worker, Leo Grande (Daryl McCormack), in order to achieve sexual fulfilment. Nancy, in her 31 years as a married woman (she is now widowed), has never once had an orgasm. The lack of orgasm within her marriage lies partially with her husband, in that he never really seemed bothered to try, but it also lies with Nancy, who constantly faked an orgasm, and never actually knew what she liked, because she never tried to learn her own body. It is a truth universally known that for a woman to orgasm it takes a lot more work and effort than it does for a man.
This film pays equal attention to the lives and stories of its two main characters, looking into their vulnerabilities and giving a very realistic depiction of life, sex, and relationships. This is so much more than a Pretty Woman story; it does not glamorise Leo’s job in any way. Sure, he tells Nancy that he enjoys what he does, being able to give people what they fantasise about, but he does admit that he has been in danger from clients before. The more Nancy asks questions about Leo’s life throughout their meetings in the hotel room the more the perfect façade of Leo Grande begins to crumble, instead revealing a young man with his own issues, his own shame, his own hurts.
Throughout the movie when Nancy isn’t around, we see Leo looking at himself in the mirror, in a way that is vulnerable and unsure, as if he is afraid he won’t be acceptable to his clients. A vulnerability which he shares with Nancy as he tries to make her look in the mirror at herself. It shows that no matter your gender or age, no one is immune to fears of body inadequacy.
Nancy is uncomfortable in her body from the get-go, feeling awkward when Leo first goes to touch her, displaying cynicism when he tells her she is sexy (and no, he doesn’t say sexy ‘for your age’), and tells him straight that he will not be able to give her an orgasm. Leo is kind, attentive, patient, willing to just talk to Nancy if that is what she wants from him. Nancy’s sexual exploration with Leo gives her the confidence to discover her sexuality, to enjoy herself, to understand the power of what it is to be a sexual being. In the end Nancy was right, Leo does not give her an orgasm…she gives herself one. The confidence that this brings her, the power of knowing her own body, gives her the strength to be able to look at herself, naked in the mirror, and accept herself.
The conversations shared between the two characters are honest and real: despite Leo liking his job, he does carry an element of shame, knowing that his mother will never accept what he does. Nancy tells Leo that her two adult children sometimes feel like a dead weight around her neck. I’m not a parent myself, but I can understand where she’s coming from. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her children, but raising kids is hard work, and it can mean a loss of self. The fact that this film didn’t hide away from the realities of life and didn’t glamorise or fetishize the dynamic between the characters was so refreshing and thought provoking.
Never have I watched a film like it where one of the lead characters is an older woman, and an older woman exploring her sexuality. It is about time! Male actors still get work in films into their 70s and 80s, actors in their 50s and 60s are still viewed as sexy (Hello, Daniel Craig). Actresses don’t have those same privileges, once they’re past 40, they’re old. But maybe Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, can be the start of the change. I might be naively optimistic, but one can hope. The use of consent in their interactions was unbelievably sexy! Leo asks Nancy if she is ok if he kisses her, if he can take off her clothes, and she does the same, asking if she can touch his arms, his chest.
Yes, there are reservations considering it is about a woman who has hired a sex worker. The question does have to be asked if there is still a level of inequality there, a power dynamic where one is paying the other person to perform sexual acts, but the film does not romanticise this. Nancy does raise these controversies during her first meeting with Leo. Is this the right way to go about exploring ones own sexuality…perhaps not, but the story itself is honest and doesn’t shy away from its own complications.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande is a film that should be watched by viewers of all ages, and it is a story that will incite conversations to be had surrounding sex work and women’s sexuality.
Directed by: Sophie Hyde
My Rating: 4/5
Science of film 